The good kind of envy…


The expressions we use to express our feelings are the most interesting thing in the world. As Mexicans, we have a saying, a saying or a rhyme for each situation that helps us emphasize what we are thinking or what is happening to us at the moment as «for all good things, mezcal and for all things lame, the same»…

The interesting thing is that many times we don’t even know what many of those sayings mean. We use them automatically because we have listened to them all our lives. Even many language errors are caused by the simple habit that we have always said it like that, such as the «aiga» or putting the «s» at the end of the words like you came, you thought and you brought when speaking in spanish.

It is like when they say they feel «ñañaras», which is used to describe a feeling of discomfort or nerves, when they are actially a tickling sensation in the anus. Interesting, right? But we say it so often that we automatically associate it with what we want to convey. Like when you point the remote control and ask someone to pass you the “thingy”.

An expression that has always caught my attention is when they say they feel «the good kind of envy», it is what we tell people when someone we appreciate succeeds in something. The curious thing is that envy is a negative feeling, defined as “Unhappiness caused by well-being, success, possessions, etc. of others”, therefore, being envious of the good kind is a contradiction in terms. If you are unhappy that another person has a good result, it cannot be a good unhappiness, can it? Of course not.

For me, envy is what people feel who want to have the benefits that others have without having done the work it takes to deserve it. Things do not come by themselves, people, you have to work hard to get what you want, and still, many times you don’t even have the results you imagined. Sometimes you end up traveling on other roads and loving what you’ve achieved although it was not what you wanted at the beginning.

It happens to me often that people tell me that I’m doing very well. I actually have everything I need. I have a job, my house, love, health, and many other good things in my life, but many times I have been told (especially when they want to benefit from what I have) that I should give them money or help. OK, I have no problem supporting people with what I can, but the fact that they don’t want to work and are reaching out for me to give then things is a gigantic offense. Don’t come crying to me that you don’t have money and that I should give you some because everything I have is the result of working hard. The money doesn’t rain from heaven. I have to earn every cent I have and it is not fair for an idiot to come and tell me that because I have earned it I have to share it, especially if you have the capacity to earn it yourself.

The truth is that it bothers me a lot when I’m eating somewhere and they come up to me to ask me for money. I find it disrespectful and annoys me. It is acceptable to me when they want to sell me something, since they are making an effort to earn the money, but the fact that they come up to you and ask you for it seems cynical to me. Then they say that it is better to ask for it than to steal. No, it’s not. It is better to work and earn it than to beg for it.

It’s like someone once said to me: Why am I going to kill myself like idiot for eight hours in a job when other people can give it to me? Seriously? Then that same person spends her time complaining that she has no money at all and that her family does not give her money when she has the capacity to earn it day by day. But yes, when someone she know succeeds in something, it bothers her. She feels that she deserves the same but is unwilling to make the same sacrifices as the others to have the same result. It is something that I see very often, especially in the new generations. They hope that everyone will solve their lives so that they won’t tire themselves out. As momma Vacci would say: they were born tired.

So when we tell our friends that we are envious of the good kind, we seem to be confessing that their success bothers us. We can’t be annoyed in a good way when other people are reaping the rewards of their hard labor when we don’t even want to grab a hoe to start planting our own garden, come on.

Personally, it makes me very happy when my loved ones succeed. I love that they go on a trip and that they earn a lot of money. I get excited when they buy a new car and that they are successful in their relationships. When I have my own good news, I am sure they will be happy for me and celebrate in their own way. I have nothing to envy, they are only the product of my efforts, my sacrifices and my perseverance, just as theirs are the result of their efforts. They deserve no less. So it gives me life when they do well.

They have told me that everything is easier for me because I have a degree and a good job, but they don’t see that behind them there is a lot of hard work and effort on my part and that my eyes have seem many long nights of study to earn everything. They have not seen that I lost my hair to study and work, sometimes up to three jobs in order to buy the furniture from my apartment. They only see the results of years of work and, like all good lazy and envious people, they want it for them, but free.

So do not envy me the good way, my darlings, earn your own success and I will gladly celebrate your good results.

And you sisters, brothers, what do you think? Share … if you dare.

Kind regards.


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