People are fascinating, we are never satisfied. We always have to find something wrong to everything. Apparently, when things go well, we must find a way to discover something negative. Nothing can be so perfect because the world can explode and machines will begin to conquer human beings in the not too distant future …
On many occasions I have heard, (especially with my patients) that they say that everything is going so well that they are just waiting for something bad to happen. As if it is necessary that whenever things go well something negative will come to counteract the effect. I mean, if that was the rule, we could say the same when things are going down the drain that they are waiting for good things to happen to balance everything, but that way of thinking is not very common.
Generally, because of our culture, education, habits, or whatever reason we like best, we tend to focus more on negative things. It happens to me often when I meet a person that I like to include in my life, I start to wonder what is wrong with that person, what defects will he have. I know very well that no one is perfect, that we all have flaws, but I definitely have to wonder what the ones that people who enter my world have, right? Of course not, it’s like people who hurt themselves to prepare for when pain really comes. I see no case to be always waiting for the bad instead of enjoying the good things that happen to you. Honestly, what would be the purpose of always expecting the worst?
It is one thing to pay attention and be ready to deal with anything and another is to be neurotic and be distressed by things that have not happened and possibly never will. It is like when they send you to the principal’s office at school and you start to imagine all the scolding that you will receive from the person in charge, only to get an invitation to participate in the mothers day festival. You wasted all that time and effort trembling with fear and imagining the cataclysms of the world for nothing. Durr! As they say: prepare for the worst but expect the best.
I find it funny how our mind automatically goes to the negative, is it possible that we have been programmed like this? Maybe we are so used to hearing mom’s voice that always takes into account all the possible consequences of our actions that we learn to live that way? It is possible, but our moms do it automatically and generally with the best intentions, in our case, sometimes it seems self-sabotage.
It happens with couples too. You meet someone, you like them, they go out and start dating, a relationship develops and all the time that it lasts, you spend your time waiting for them to cheat on you. You constantly check their cell phone, wallet, there are even people who smell your partner’s clothes in order to detect another person’s scent. Each glance, each greeting or movement is a clear indication that they are fully involved in a forbidden love affair when sometimes they do not even know each other. In those cases it is your paranoid mind that is imagining the entire scenario. Nothing is happening and you spend it thinking the worst. In many cases what is achieved is that you annoy your partner and they end up leaving you because they are fed up. Turns out the result was the same and you end up telling yourself you knew it all along. The fact is that they left you because instead of paying attention to your relationship, you kept checking the snake for elbows, and it turns out that it has a lot of them…
Let me make it clear that a person who always sees the negative in situations is not pleasant. The time comes when they get fed up, actually. It is the classic person who, when it rains, always comments that worse ones are yet to come, or that when it trembles, it turns out that stronger ones are expected. They are the people that many avoid because if we go down that line of thoughts, the world is very close to the end. I will tell you something: if a flood arrives or trembles so hard that the peninsula separates and the Pangea forms again and then it sinks and we all die, it will happen, whether we know it or not, or whether the closest lady announced or not. It is better to let me enjoy my last moments of ignorant happiness. When the terminators come to kill me, let it be done. I will deal with that situation when it occurs, and if not, then no.
And it’s not about being with a fake smile or the «always be positive» mentality. No. It’s about living in the present. Thinking about what is going to happen is a waste of time because it may not even happen and you already wasted your time worrying about it and if you spend it only thinking about the past, you lose sight of the present. Then one ends up with neck pain from turning around to look at what happened and what is going to happen and does not pay any attention to what is her now. When you walk while looking backwards, you often end up crashing into the nearest pole and feeling completely stupid for your clumsiness while listening to the people around you laugh.
So brothers, sisters, let’s focus our attention on the important things, instead of getting stuck on what we cannot change or what has not even happened. Let us live our present fully and learn to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. Overall, the past can no longer be changed, but we can learn from it to become wiser people. There will be bumps on our heads from the occasional blow that we have received, but if we use them as lessons, I assure you that we will not crash with the same obstacle.
I have been through it, that’s why I know what I’s talking about, I have the bumps to prove it, lol.
And you brothers, sisters, what do you think? Share .. if you dare …