«It’s easy to raise children,» says anyone who doesn’t have them. It always seems so easy when you are not the one doing it. It is easy to say how others should perform their functions because they have no idea what is required to do it, we only know what we see in the distance or better still, in the movies …
It is like when the mothers of my students told me how I should teach my classes. They seemed experts at how I can improve my teaching skills, even though they have never stood in front of a group and are not even able to control their own children. What was funny to me is that when I told them how to raise their children, they became defensive and told me that I was nobody to tell them what to do at home. It was then when I gave agreed with them and told them that for the same reason, they should not tell me how to teach my classes. Their reaction was priceless!
Fortunately I am not a parent. I don’t even want to be.Having children is not something that catches my attention. Even less if the kids are going to have my attitude. I can imagine us having fist fights in the backyard. Don’t take me wrong, I love humanity, and watching children play seems very beautiful to me because they remind me that innocence still exists in the world, therefore, it still has hope, but many times I see the examples that the future generations and I am afraid to imagine what is coming.
It happens often that when I go to the store and I’m looking for something, a child comes by who apparently has no trace of education and pushes me because I’m on his way. Apparently saying «excuse me» is an archaic custom that must die along with racism, misogyny and homophobia. Once, lining up to pay, having three other people behind me, a girl of about ten decided that she didn’t want to wait and got in front of me. Error. Seeing the look of a thousand deaths that I gave her, she stood back and did me the favor of letting me pay. When I passed, she went back to cutting in the line, ignoring the others and paying comfortably.
What worries me is not the act itself, but that when you meet the parents, they are worse. Many celebrate the fact that their children are as big of jerks as they are. Then they say that their little ones have a very strong character and that they don’t take any attitude from anyone. It is one thing to defend yourself against injustice and another is to bother other people.
How is it possible that you applaud your child for being an abuser? But if someone looks at them the wrong way, you already want to pull their hair out, because your kid is untouchable. When you teach your children that the sun revolves around them, they will believe it, and when they enter the real world, where the rules do apply to them like any other, they will suffer greatly. Maybe your world does revolve around your children, but out there, where the rest of us are, they are not the center of the universe, they are just another idiot who parks their car in the handicap zone because it is more convenient or steals a part of your land only because he feels like it.
I don’t mean to say that I’m an expert in raising children. Not at all. As a psychologist I can recite books about it, but as a parent I have no experience. For that reason I don’t intend to tell people how to educate their mini-versions, but I firmly believe that basic education cannot be so lacking. A «good afternoon», a «thank you», an «excuse me» go a long way on the decency scale. That feeling that we are all at your service speaks volumes about you as a human being, as a parent, and yes, your children are a clear representation of the person you are. And if your children are repugnant, then do the math, because it is very possible that you are also that kind of person.
I take as a reference the fact that I was a weird child. I thought differently from others and have always had strange ideas. Other children sometimes didn’t want to play with me because I’ve always been myself, but if I misbehaved and my mother found out, I was disciplined for sure. The rules were clear and may the Lord protect me if they were broken. It was to hand the money respectfully to the cashier. To greet people when you enter a room. To say thank you when something was received, etc. I didn’t even need to be spanked to abide by the rules, I just needed to know that my mom was capable of doing it if it was necessary.
How are we educating our children? It is the question I ask myself frequently. More than a criticism, it is an invitation to reflect on it. Let us not wait for teachers to correct what we do not do in our own homes. «Education begins at home,» says momma Vacci constantly. At school they only reinforce what they already have in them, but if they don’t bring even the most basic of manners, you cannot wait for someone else to give it to them. Let’s be realistic.
I personally believe that youth has a lot of potential. There are even some of them who have abysmal parents and have struggled to get ahead in life. The fact that you come from garbage does not mean that you are garbage, on the contrary, it is up to you to decide what to keep and what to discard. But it is always better when a house has a good foundation, because when the earthquake comes, it will be more difficult to knock down.
Let’s think about the future, my dear unicorns, and leave a powerful legacy through our children. They are the ones who will continue with our ideals and traditions, and if these are negative, incorrect or destructive, it is what we will inherited the world. Think about it.
Real change begins within ourselves.
And you brothers, sisters, what do you think? Share … if you dare …